Life has a way of testing us, especially during the hardest seasons. In those moments, we expect the people we love to stand by us—to fight for us, support us, or at the very least, stay. But when they don’t, when they abandon us instead, it can feel like a wound too deep to bear.
It’s natural to feel hurt, betrayed, and even angry at both them and God. After all, if God is loving and sovereign, why would He allow the very people we lean on to walk away? The answer, though not always easy to accept, lies in His desire to shift our reliance—from people to Him.
Hagar and Ishmael: A Story of Abandonment and Divine Purpose
In Genesis 21:8-20, we see a heartbreaking story unfold. Abraham, following Sarah’s demand, sends Hagar and his son Ishmael away. This wasn’t a decision Abraham made lightly. Ishmael was his son, and the thought of sending him into the wilderness must have torn at his heart.
Yet, in verse 12, God speaks to Abraham and assures him:
“Do not be distressed about the boy and your servant. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.”
God allowed this separation to happen. Not because He was indifferent to Hagar and Ishmael’s suffering, but because He had a greater plan—a plan that required them to leave the comfort of Abraham’s household and step into the unknown.
Hagar must have felt utterly abandoned. Yet, when she reached her breaking point, God met her in the wilderness. He opened her eyes to a well of water, provided for her and Ishmael, and reaffirmed His promise to make Ishmael into a great nation.
So, Why Would God Allow People to Leave?
1. To Teach Us to Depend on Him
When the people we depend on walk away, we’re left with no choice but to lean on God. It’s in these moments of deep pain and loneliness that we come to know Him as our ultimate source of strength, comfort, and provision.
Psalm 62:5-6 says,
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.”
2. To Build Our Faith
Faith is not built on easy days. It’s built when everything else is stripped away, and we’re forced to trust in God’s promises. Like Hagar, we may not see the well of water right away, but God is faithful to provide exactly what we need at the right time.
3. To Realign Our Focus
Sometimes, we place too much faith in people. We look to them for validation, security, or support in ways that only God can truly provide. When they leave, it’s a painful but necessary reminder that God alone is our anchor.
4. To Fulfill His Greater Purpose
Just as God had a plan for Hagar and Ishmael, He has a purpose for us, even in seasons of abandonment. What feels like rejection is often a divine redirection, guiding us toward a future we can’t yet see.
What to Do When You Feel Abandoned
When people leave, it’s easy to fall into despair or bitterness. But instead of focusing on the loss, we can use these moments to draw closer to God.
Cry Out to God: Just as Hagar lifted her voice in the wilderness, bring your pain to God. He sees you, hears you, and cares deeply for you.
Seek His Word: Meditate on scriptures that remind you of God’s faithfulness. Verses like Deuteronomy 31:8—”The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”—can bring immense comfort.
Look for His Provision: Even in the wilderness, God provides. It may not look like what you expected, but trust that He will meet your needs.
Release Bitterness: Forgive those who left, not because they deserve it, but because holding onto bitterness only weighs you down.
The Beauty of God’s Presence
When God allows people to leave, it’s not because He wants us to suffer. It’s because He wants us to experience the depth of His presence and provision in ways we never could while relying on others.
Hagar and Ishmael’s story didn’t end in the wilderness. It was in that desolate place that they encountered God’s faithfulness and received His promise. And the same is true for us.
If you’re in a season of abandonment, know this: God sees you. He hears your cries. And He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).
The people who leave are not your source—God is. And in Him, you will find everything you need.
