There were times in my life when I needed my family and friends the most—those dark seasons when everything felt heavy, and I just wanted someone to be there. But sometimes, they weren’t. The pain of their absence cut deep, and for a long time, I carried that hurt like a weight on my heart.
As the months passed, I began to realize something important: holding onto that pain wasn’t helping me heal. If anything, it kept me stuck. Slowly, I learned how to let go, to give grace—not just for them, but for myself too. By:
1. Trying to Understand Why
At first, all I could see was how much their absence hurt. I asked myself over and over, “Why weren’t they there for me?” But eventually, I started to dig deeper. Maybe they didn’t know how to handle the weight of what I was going through. Maybe they were struggling with their own battles, ones I couldn’t see.
It wasn’t easy to think about their side of things. But the more I tried, the more I realized how complicated life can be. Understanding their “why” didn’t erase my pain, but it softened the edges of it.
2. Letting Go of Expectations
I used to expect so much from the people I loved. I thought, “If they care, they’ll show up.” When they didn’t, it felt like a betrayal. But carrying those expectations—and the resentment that came with them—was exhausting.
Letting go of those expectations was hard, but it was also freeing.
3. Choosing Forgiveness
Forgiveness has been one of the hardest parts of this journey. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or pretending it didn’t hurt. For me, it meant deciding to let go of the bitterness.
I’ll admit, it took time. There were days when the anger felt easier to hold onto. But forgiveness wasn’t about them—it was about me finding peace. And little by little, I did.
4. Focusing on the People Who Showed Up
Even in my darkest moments, there were people who showed up—friends, mentors, even strangers. Looking back, I realize how much their kindness and presence meant to me.
Focusing on those people helped me shift my perspective. The love and support I needed didn’t always come from where I expected, but it came from where it mattered most.
Moving Forward
Giving grace doesn’t mean that I don’t still feel the sting of their absence sometimes. But it does mean I’m no longer letting that pain define my relationships or my happiness.
I’ve learned to set boundaries where I need to, to adjust my expectations, and to find peace within myself. Letting go of resentment has opened the door to healing, and maybe even the chance for renewed connection in the future.
