Living with anxiety and depression is an experience that often feels impossible to explain. For me, it was a storm silently raging inside, while the world outside expected me to stay composed and functional. As someone who has struggled with this, I’ve often wished my loved ones could see and understand what I’m going through.
Here are some of the things I wish they knew:
1. It’s Not Just in My Head
When I say I’m anxious or depressed, it’s not something I can simply “snap out of.” These feelings are real, overwhelming, and at times, debilitating. Telling me to “just relax” or “think positive” feels dismissive, even if it’s well-intentioned.
Anxiety and depression aren’t choices. They’re conditions that affect how I think, feel, and act. I need understanding, not solutions or quick fixes.
2. I’m Not Being Lazy or Dramatic
There are days when getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. It’s not because I’m lazy—it’s because my mind and body feel weighed down by an invisible burden.
On other days, small things—like a messy room or a passing comment—can feel overwhelming. It’s not about overreacting; it’s about how my brain interprets and magnifies stress.
3. Socializing Can Be Exhausting
I love my friends and family, but social situations can drain me, especially when I’m struggling. It’s not that I don’t want to be around you—it’s that I sometimes need to protect my energy to get through the day.
If I cancel plans or seem distant, it’s not personal. Please don’t take it as a sign of rejection.
4. I’m Trying My Best, Even When It Doesn’t Look Like It
Every day is a battle to manage my thoughts and emotions. Sometimes just surviving the day feels like an achievement.
If I seem like I’m not doing enough according to your standards, please remember that I’m doing the best I can with what I have in that moment.
5. Your Support Means Everything
What helps the most is knowing I’m not alone. Simple gestures—like checking in, listening without judgment, or sitting with me in silence—can make a world of difference.
Sometimes I don’t need advice or solutions. I just need to know you care and that it’s okay to feel what I’m feeling.
6. Healing Takes Time
There’s no quick fix for anxiety and depression. It’s a journey with ups and downs. Some days will be better than others, but I need time and patience to heal.
Your encouragement helps me keep going, even when it feels like the progress is slow.
7. You Don’t Have to Understand Everything to Support Me
You might not fully understand what I’m going through, and that’s okay. What matters most is your willingness to be there for me, even if you can’t relate.
Your presence, kindness, and empathy mean more than you know.
A Note to My Loved Ones
If you’ve ever felt confused or helpless about how to support me, know that I appreciate you. I know it’s not easy to watch someone you care about struggle. Your patience and love are what keep me going, even when I can’t express it.
To anyone reading this who also struggles with anxiety and depression: you’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help. And to those who love someone with these challenges: thank you for being a light in their darkness.
Let’s keep the conversation going. What do you wish your loved ones understood about mental health? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear from you.
XO, R.
